Gwyneth Paltrow “learned so much about herself” from her divorce from Chris Martin.

The Goop founder, now married to Brad Falchuk, split from the Coldplay frontman in 2016 after 13 years of marriage, saying that while she “never wanted to be divorced,” she now sees their separation as a positive thing.

Gwyneth – who has Apple, 16) and Moses, 14, with Chris – said, “I’ve learned so much from what I least wanted in the world. I never wanted to get divorced. I never wanted to not be married. ” In theory, the father of my children. But I learned more about myself through this process than I could have imagined. And because I focused on accountability, I was able to find the most amazing man and build something that I never had before with Brad, my husband. “

And since starting her new romance with Brad, the Shakespeare in Love star has learned how to communicate rather than just “shut down” during a disagreement.

Speaking of her and Brad’s relationship, she added, “We were friends first for a long time and when I said, ‘Are we going to date? Is this going to happen?’ I was scared because he’s a person who demands presence, intimacy, and communication in ways that I just couldn’t [do].

“I like to fight by switching off … I leave the room. And he says, ‘No’, he says, ‘Absolutely not. We sit down and we find out.’ And it demands that I be honest with myself in a way that is difficult for me but that really helps me grow. “

Gwyneth joked that Brad is like “some kind of jiu-jitsu master” and has taught her to recognize her own mistakes so that she can “win and move forward.”

During an appearance on Anna Faris ‘Unqualified podcast, she said, “I think I realized his amazing qualities. It was like being with some kind of Jiu-Jitsu master where they say,’ I will make you look at your own stuff so you can win and move forward. ‘””